Insert Bizzare Teenage Superhero Here
by Drake Dragonsoul
Summary: Drake battles a new Mary-Sue in the Freakazoid fandom. Even with his armor fixed and upgraded can he defeat the super "heroine"? Maybe with Freakazoid's help he can, but will our zaney hero be able to resist the manipulating Sue?


Author's Note: Wow, I'm already on my sixth entry for the Society. I need to take a break, or something.

Disclaimer: I don't own Freakazoid! Or anything related to him/the show. I own my namesake. Any other Society members appearing are copyright to their original owners.

Insert Bizarre Teenage Superhero Here

Freakazoid slowly crept through the shadows of the abandoned warehouse. His bright red spandex suit made blending in with the shadows difficult, but fortunately there were plenty of crates to hide behind. He tiptoed over to another stack of crates.

He peered around his hiding place and spotted several muscular men in black clothes and ski masks loading crates into the back of a truck.

"Stop right there, villains!" they spun around to find the red-clad, blue skinned superhero with long black hair with a white lightning bolt design in it. "Let's wrestle!"

Freakazoid was about to leap into action when another figure leapt out of nowhere and proceeded to beat down on the men, creating a cartoon-style dust cloud. The cloud settled to reveal a blue skinned woman clad in a purple costume similar to Freakazoid's own. Her short orange hair stood up like his and had a white lightning bolt in it.

"Hi," the Shefreak purred in a sultry voice.

"Um, hi," Freakazoid said. "What are you doing here?"

"I was apprehending those criminals," the female superhero replied.

"No, I mean here in _my _show," Freakazoid said, pulling out a thick stack of paper. "There's nothing about you in the script at all."

Freakazoid flipped through the script, looking for some mention of the beautiful super heroine. Meanwhile, the purple vision of perfection slid up to Freakazoid's side and surprised the hero by wrapping an arm around him.

"Couldn't we just forget what the script says?" Shefreak asked.

"Well-, Um-, That is-," Freakazoid mumbled as he blushed. "Aw, what the heck! You're cute, let's run with it!"

Freakazoid tossed the script to the side, put an arm around Shefreak, and the duo left the warehouse and the unconscious, bruised criminals behind.

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"Hey, guys," Drake said as he entered the kitchen. Michael, Adrian, and Marcus were all gathered around the table eating.

They glanced up at him and noticed he was wearing a silver and blue long-sleeved jacket, instead of his usual black hoodie. A black t-shirt with a blue dragon on it was visible through the unzipped front of the jacket. Other than that he was wearing his usual blue jeans and white sneakers.

"What's with the new look?" Marcus asked.

"You know you're sort of copying Marcus with the whole wardrobe change?" Michael asked, referring to Marcus' new trench coat and bandages that made him resemble the Invisible Man.

"Not much choice," Drake said. "Since someone taught a certain someone to use fire magic and she used it to toast my hoodie beyond repair."

He glared at Adrian the whole time he was saying this. The white-haired Librarian shrugged. "You're the one who left her hanging from the ceiling by her ankle."

"I needed someone to set off your booby trap, she just happened to show up," Drake said as he looked through the cupboard, scowling at the boxes of cereal. He finally found a box of oatmeal and settled on that.

"Why does everyone have to steal my sweets?" Adrian asked.

"No sunflower seeds here," Drake replied. "The girls and Tyler are probably just sugar crazed. And we all know there's no cure for that."

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After a relaxing night out on the town, Freakazoid and Shefreak settled down on a park bench to watch the sunrise. There was much romantic drivel going on between the two superheroes which your humble author has chosen not to describe for fear of being vomited on. Finally, the two agreed to show the other their alter egos. They "freak ined" Freakazoid reverting to the short and nerdy Dexter Douglas. Shefreak became a tall, blonde beauty with impeccable taste in clothing and miraculous skills with make-up. She introduced herself as Amanda Shoemaker Orlando Disney Seaworld.

_I can't believe this is working!_ Amanda Shoemaker Orlando Disney Seaworld thought to herself with glee. _Every other Sue and Stu warned me that this fandom would be impenetrable due to all of the fourth wall breaking and other nonsense, but it's almost too easy._

"Hold it right there!" the two glanced up to find Drake standing on the branches of a tree behind them.

"Oh, don't tell me you're with that annoying Society," Amanda sighed.

"I'm with the Anti-Cliché and Mary-Sue Elimination Society and you're under arrest," Drake said.

"I told you not to tell me that," Amanda groaned. "What are the charges?"

"Pairing yourself with the protagonist, completely ignoring his canon love interest, and adding a whole bunch of serious romance into a flat-out comedy! Are you going to come quietly, or will I have to use force?" Drake asked.

"You can't catch me! Not while I have these powers! Freak out!" Amanda transformed into Shefreak in a surge of white energy.

"Wait a second! What's going on?!" Dexter exclaimed.

"She's a Mary-Sue and she's manipulating this fandom. I'm here to stop her," Drake explained.

"Oh, okay," Dexter said.

"Not if I pound you into hamburger!" Amanda growled.

"Wardrobe Change!" Drake exclaimed thrusting forward his left arm and revealing the silver and blue bracelet on his wrist. White light obscured Drake's form, before blue flames surrounded him, fading to reveal his armor, good as new. In fact, it was better. It now looked sleeker and deadlier than before.

"Freak out!" Dexter exclaimed turning into his loony alter ego. Freakazoid glanced between the two. "Okay, who do I help? Amanda is a reality altering mind controlling Mary-Sue, but she's also incredibly hot!"

Drake sighed and leapt from the tree branch. He tried to hit Amanda with a kick as he descended, but she leapt to the side before diving forward and hitting Drake with a punch to the gut.

"No, I can not just let any villain have their way, no matter how hot they might be," Freakazoid said in an exaggeratedly heroic voice. He prepared to leap in and join the fight, when he was interrupted by the sound of brakes squealing and turned to find Cosgrove's police car had just pulled to a stop. "Oh. Hiya, Cosgrove."

"Hey, Freakazoid, want to go see a cheese sculpture museum?" Cosgrove asked in his usual unenthusiastic gruff voice.

"Of course!" Freakazoid exclaimed nimbly hopping through the police car's open window and into the passenger seat. "Can I work the siren?"

Neither Drake nor Amanda noticed Freakazoid's disappearance as the two currently had their hands locked together and were trying to shove the other backwards. Drake suddenly stopped pushing and dropped to the ground, pulling Amanda forward as he did and flinging her to the side. She grunted as she slammed into a tree trunk.

"Had enough?" Drake asked as he stood back up.

"No way!" Amanda exclaimed as she leapt to her feet, transforming into a bolt of lightning and ramming into Drake, sending him flying before speeding away. Drake groaned and stood up, preparing to pursue the lightning bolt.

He pulled out his Society communicator. "Can you guys track where she went?"

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"All this cheese is making me hungry," Freakazoid commented as he and Cosgrove walked through the museum gazing at sculptures of all shapes, sizes, and flavors.

"Yeah, it's good thing they keep these things in display cases, or people would eat them all," Cosgrove noted. "By the way, that Drake kid is chasing Amanda What's Her Name around the city."

"Think I should go help?" Freakazoid asked.

"I would, but that's just me," Cosgrove shrugged.

"All right then! To the hunt!" Freakazoid exclaimed. He held his arms in the air and ran off, making whooshing sounds with his mouth as he went.

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As you could imagine, chasing a lightning bolt on foot wasn't easy, but the Society scanners back at the Library had locked onto Amanda's Sue signature and unless she left the fandom, Drake could easily find her.

Amanda finally got annoyed with this and skidded to a stop. She stood in the middle of the street and crossed her arms, waiting for Drake to show up. He emerged from around a street corner five minutes later.

"Tired of running?" Drake asked as he tucked his communicator back into the same place he had pulled it from in the first place.

"That's right. I'm going to finish you!" she charged at him and attempted to land a punch, but Drake sidestepped her, slamming his elbow into her back and knocking her to the ground. He attempted to slam his foot down on her, but she rolled out of the way and he only succeeded in cracking the pavement. Drake turned to face her and caught a boot to the helmet. He stumbled back and into the side of a parked car. Amanda charged forward and tried to land another punch before he could recover from his daze, but Drake dropped into a crouch and her fist went through the car window instead. Drake stood back up, slamming his armored head into her chin. He lashed out with his foot and landed a kick to her side.

Drake leapt into the air, his fist crackling with surges of blue electrical energy. The lightning charged punch connected with Amanda and sent her flying into the wall of a building. "Looks like that's it for you."

He glanced to his side as he heard a faint whooshing noise and Freakazoid came running into view with his hands still raised above his head. He whooshed to a stop next to Drake. "All right, where's the Mary-Sue at?"

"Sorry, I just caught-," Drake started to say before he turned back to find that Amanda had disappeared. He glanced around and saw her disappearing into an internet café. He charged after her, Freakazoid right behind him. (He ran normally this time.)

The two burst into the café, just in time to see Amanda rapidly typing away at one of the computers. She smirked and turned to face them as her finger hovered over the delete key. Drake leapt forward, but she pressed the key and immediately the computer screen surged with light, beams of energy reached from the screen and Amanda vanished into cyberspace.

"Darn!" Drake exclaimed. He gestured to Freakazoid. "Quick, enter the flaw so we can chase after her!"

"Hold up," a man said stepping towards them. "You have to pay if you want to use one of our computers."

Drake sighed in frustration and began feeling his armor as though it had pockets. He glanced over at Freakazoid. "I left my wallet back at the Library Arcanium. I don't suppose you have yours?"

"Sorry, I left it in my other tights," Freakazoid shrugged.

The computer beeped and the two turned to find a new email had arrived on it. Before the café owner could protest, Drake clicked on the email icon and read the message.

"Later, loser," the message read.

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"Sorry, but the scanners couldn't detect her after she entered cyberspace," Valerie explained as Drake flopped down on a coach.

"Well, with my luck, I'll probably be seeing her again sometime," Drake sighed.

"I thought you'd lost the use of your armor when you went to the Super Sentai fandom," Marcus said.

"I did, but turns out it was still under warranty," Drake laughed. "I found some magic reenergizing spells from books in the library and even some ways to improve on it."

"You know how to use magic?" Tyler asked.

"I know a thing or two…" Drake replied. "Now, if you'll excuse me, I'm going to go make lunch."

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Author's Note: If any of the other Society members want to use Amanda they can. I don't have any future plans for her so they can capture her, too.


End file.
